Robin Sparkles Fangirl of America
by bisbeth05
Summary: Kids this is the story of how your mother met aunt Robin. Your mother actually knew your aunt Robin before any of us did. Because you see she was a Robin Sparkles fan. [and a series of mostly other mother oneshots](TedxMother, RobinxBarney, LilyxMarshall)
1. Robin Sparkles Fangirl of America

**Note: Since some asked me to continue I've decided to continue with probably mostly oneshots all complying with each other hopefully in some type of order**

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I'd just left my room and intended on asking Curtis for directions to the lighthouse I had heard so much when it happened… There she stood 5'8," piercing before and after a thunderstorm blue eyes. Her glossy now shorter (_and brown_) curls enveloping her flawless skin. In my direction she smiled and then expressed slight confusion caught me gazing (_probably more like drooling._) I then unintelligently mumbled out, "You're Robin Sparkles!"

[_Kids that's how your mother met your aunt Robin._]

**5.5 hours before the wedding…**

The next thing I know I'm pinned into a corner with Robin Sparkle's hand cupped tightly over my mouth. Seething with rage, her eyes wide, and her nose flared.

"Yeah… So?" she grunted. "What are you gonna do about it?" she said lower.

"Pee my pants a little? Or a lot! If-f that's what you want.." I said timid staring down. Her hands were back to my mouth but this time her fingers were inside opening it up.

"You don't have any missing teeth, and have all your fingers. SO I KNOW YOU'RE NOT CANADIAN!" she screeched into my ear.

"Nope American… I'm sorry?" I said confused and feeble.

"He didn't put you up to this did he? I mean it's our wedding for pete's sake!" she asked quietly more to herself.

"No one put me up to anything I'm just a huge fan s'all." I answered quickly.

"Really." she stated more than asked, skeptical.

"Oh yeah I may not be Canadian, but I spent a summer there when I was younger. I heard 'Let's Go To the Mall,' and thought now this girl gets me. Hooked ever since." I smiled slyly.

"Oh big fan huh? You probably just saw it on the internet 7 years ago like the rest of America." She scoffed.

"Oh yeah well does the rest of America know about 'Sandcastles In the Sand' 'Let's Go To the Mall's' follow up? Did the rest of America dress up as Robin Sparkles for Halloween?!" I countered.

"What about the moose song?" she opposed.

"Trick question there was no moose song!" I paused, and as she opened her mouth, "But perhaps you're mistaking it for the 'Beaver Song' an inspired song about friendship that was shown on a Canadian kid's show called Space Teens. A show where you and Jessica Glitter used math to solve galactic problems, thanks to Alan Thicke. Which was the actual origin of Robin Sparkles." I said finally taking a breath. She leaned back, looking me in the eyes, and then arched her eyebrows.

"You really dressed as me for Halloween?" she inquired looking almost bashful.

"Yep both Sparkles and Daggers. I was actually so obessed I got one of the limited edition action figures with the rare robot keychain." I blurted out.

"They only made five of those!" she said eagerly.

"I know! It took me like six action figures to find it!" I matched her eagerness.

"Wow you're quite the fan of Robin Sparkles aren't ya?" she asked.

"Well I've seen throughout the years in America as well you were a reporter on Metro News 1. I don't know if you know this but there was a drinking game made-up from those days…" I replied

"Lemme guess you got super wasted because of it?" she asked dryly.

"No way… I'd actually sometimes throw in a few more but-umms for those drunken sluts." I said matter-of-fact.

"Did you ever see Come On, Get Up New York? Like the one where I… I dunno, delivered a baby?!" she asked excitedly.

"Are you kidding I recorded that! And when I feel like I'm losing my faith in humanity I watch again!" I hyped.

"So you've even seen that wow…" she said peculiarly.

"Yeah and of course I saw when you landed that helicopter… You're just so amazing." I said smiling.

"…and now you're here at my wedding…" she laughed nervously, "What are the chances?" she grinned panicky.

"Oh I'm here to play in the band." I chimed in, and she sighed in relief.

"Oh well thank you so much then." She laughed relaxing a bit more.

"No problem, I mean hey if you have the time later maybe we can 'jam out.'" I winked.

"Were you thinking with boozes cause I'm thinking with boozes." She replied seriously.

"Of course how else am I going to convince you to put on some jelly bracelets and a cool graffiti-coat?" I replied just as seriously.

"You have those on you?" she asked concerned.

"Had costumes in a box, and my ex-boyfriend put them in another bag so I accidentally packed them." I shrugged.

[The way your mother and your aunt Robin explain it they spent the next hour and a half in her room singing 'Let's Go To the Mall,' 'Sandcastles In the Sand,' and 'P.S. I Love You.']

"Not to kill the buzz or anything but you're getting married in like 4 hours shouldn't you be getting ready by maybe not drinking?" I ask.

"I'll be fine…" she said smacking her hand down my face.

"Okay. Thanks for the rocking out by the way. You're music has always gotten me pumped." I said.

"Really?" she awed.

"Yep I think Robin Sparkles was one of the sparks to my band, also playing three different inscruments helped." I smiled.

"Ya know if I didn't think Lily would get jealous I'd say I'd just made another best friend." She longingly.

"You don't mean Lily Aldrin do you? Wife to Big Fudge Judge Marshall Eriksen, and Parents of Marvin Waitforit… Eriksen?" I asked.

"Did you meet them here already?" she asked surprised.

"I actually came here with both of them." I replied.

"They came separately." She said.

"I know I almost left and ended up giving a ride to Marshall. Band thing, with this bad guy _Darren._" I said his name darkly.

"Ugh _Darren._" She gagged.

"See you've had the rotten luck of meeting him too. Well he got what he had coming to him. The best man give him a black eye!" I said with delight.

"I know I was there when it happened." She said smiling.

"Oh well you can tell him then to thank him I got him that scotch." I stated.

"That was you!? Do you like scotch?" she asked as if she was verging on tears.

"Why else I order for someone if I didn't know how great it was?" I asked flatly.

"I don't normally do this, but bring it in give me a hug." She said while closing her arms around me, "Yep we're gonna be great friends!" she said, and I smiled.

"Well I do need to start getting ready if you still want music at your wedding." I state.

"Yeah me too." She replies, as I exit her room she yells, "See you later bestie!"

"Was that Lily?" Ted asked doing a double take watching the definite 'not Lily' walked away from him.

"Naw that's… Huh never even got her name. No matter I will be calling her 'bestie' for the rest of our days." Robin replied.

"How are you going to talk to her again if you don't even know her name?" Ted asked matter-of-fact.

"Because Teddy boy she's in the wedding. I'll point her out to you later since I've decided she going apart of our group." Robin responded smiling.

"Riiight well Lily says your wedding dress isn't going to put it self on." Ted reminded.

"Right I'm coming." Robin said.

The End


	2. We Awesome - tM&B

**Mother POV**

**-Spoiler warning [kind of] fluff Barney and the mother-**

**Note: from my previous chapter I mentioned the mother was a Robin Sparkles fan so I think she'd probably know Robin's full name &amp; when she met Barney I don't think she learned his name since the only thing she called him was diaper-man. **

**After the scene where flashes to Barney, who is being restrained by Marshall and Lily from running away "to get another tie from home" that's cornflower blue.**

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All changed into my dark-purply-burgundy, sleeveless pencil skirt dress, with matching strappy Y heels, and ready to go. . . Well ready to go if I knew where to go… _This church is like a maze. _

"_What if I can't do this?" _hearing a familiar voice say from a distance, and walked to the open door frame. It was the blonde guy I remembered from the drugstore seeing me in the reflection of the mirror he was facing and said, "It's you!" he paused.

"That girl who convinced me in the first place to marry Robin." He said with gratitude.

"You remembered." I smiled.

"I know what this must mean…" he said vaguely.

"Right… it means-" I started to say, 'That I'm playing in the band for your wedding.' But he interrupted and said instead, "You must be my conscience!" my eyes widened at his response.

"You're my sign, you're here to tell me what to do!" he say with delight.

"And you're right! I'm only here in your mind." I said, just grinning and nodding. _Whoa diaper-man is freaking out hard he just needs some reassurance… Plus when am I ever going to get a chance to be a figment of someone's imagination again!_

"First we need to go over what's bothering you." I stated.

"Well as you already know, I'm just worried that what if Robin's making the wrong decision? I mean what if I can't make her happy?" he replied.

"You can't tell me you think she would have said yes and would be here today marrying you if she actually didn't think spending the rest of her life with you wasn't going to make her happy. I mean come on, Robin Scherbatsky is a logical independent woman who knows how to have fun! Like she's choosy with her boozes, but choosier with her men…" I said, staring at him knowingly and he nodded in agreement.

"Besides you're not the only one deciding to get to spend the rest of your life with the most awesome person you know and love today! You _and Robin_ are going to do everything you can and more to make each other happy." I paused letting him soak in that statement and then said, "But I mean… of course you already know all this."

"You're right conscience we both know this wedding is the most awesomest decision ever, and our marriage is going to be legend-wait for it… marry! Legend-marry! High-five… oh wait can I high-five my conscience?" he asked starting to lower his hand.

"Of course you can it's your mind." I replied matter-of-factly, and raised my hand.

"Nice imaginary high-five!" he said smacking my hand, and I laughed. "Wow that felt real." He continued, looking down weirdly at his hand.

"Yep that is the power of your imagination. Now I'm gonna need you to do something else for me…" I asked.

"Well something for you is something for Barney so name it." He replied.

"Well _Barney…_" I started, just learning his name, "I gonna need you to close your eyes spin around three times and then breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth slowly also three times…" I said, grinning widely.

"What? Why?" he whined.

"Because exercise and oxygen are good for you and as your conscience I know what's best." I replied firmly.

"Fine." He huffed, closing his eyes and started to turn. Giggling silently, I started to tiptoe away, "Oh and how you get to reception area from here?" I asked, remembering how I got here in the first place.

"From here left, straight down this hallway, a right to a door takes you outside, another left, and you're there." He quickly answered.

"Thank you." I replied scampering out and did as followed. Just as I made the first left I heard someone walk in behind me and say, "Barney? Why are you spinning around like that?" the mystery man asked, Barney gasped, "She's gone." He said in amazement. "Who's gone? Man are we talking about a dead hooker now?" the mystery man continued. I laughed at their odd conversation I continued left to the door.

The End

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**Hint: In the episode 7x01 The Best Man Ted jokes about Barney having a dead hooker in the closet and then actually checks lol.**


	3. Maybe I - T&L

**-Ted angst warning-**

**This is right after Barney asks Ted for his help choosing a tie, and reveals his fears that he may have chosen the wrong woman to settle down with and then scene when Robin then tells Ted that she can't go through with the wedding. Ted tries to calm her down, but she wonders if it would be hard to climb down the window. Ted tells her that climbing up the window is real challenge, and Robin then remembers that it's "the same window."**

* * *

[_Kids you know how when you play Scrabble with aunt Lily she likes to make up words and even when you pull out the dictionary she still claims to always be right. And I always tell you to go along with it… well that's because in this story especially she's proved soon after to me that she really is._]

Even after it comforting and relaxing both Barney and Robin, Ted felt his tension rise. He recalled reassuring Marshall he was fine but he wasn't. _I can't do this. _He couldn't be here for this wedding he shouldn't because then he might do something he'll regret. Something stupid, horrible, something that will ruin this day for everyone, and he didn't want to be this guy. The guy that left because he couldn't stand to be in the same room while his best friend married the girl that he'd been in love with for the last eight years. But he was.

Heading towards the exits while everyone else was settled in their seats, thinking it would be an easy escape… then heard, "Ted?" Lily addressed when he had just opened the door. "Where are you going? You need to start getting ready into your places." But he just continued out the door and kept walking. Hearing the door reopen while Lily pacing behind him now she shouted, "Ted!? Ted!" she said more urgently.

"I can't do it Lily!" Ted replied.

"Do what?" Lily asked still trying to catch up with him.

"I can't be here, I can't be at Robin's wedding!" he explained.

"Whoa! So what you were just gonna leave without telling anyone!" she said angrily, caught up and halting in front of him. "Ted you can't do this! You're in the wedding you're the best man! And further more you can't be selfish like this."

"Lily I have never been selfish with Robin or Barney up until this point. And now I think it would be better if rather than I stay and say 'I object.' Than leave and be selfish." Ted justified.

"You have so been selfish before to Robin and Barney, and their relationship. What do you call going to get the locket for Pete's sake! You were hoping to win Robin back!" Lily countered. "Ted I know this is hard for you but if you are ever going to move on with your life… You have to let go of Robin." Lily stated harshly.

"Maybe I've already let go of Robin! Did you ever think of that?!" Ted screamed.

"What?!" Lily knitted her eyebrows in confusion.

"I let go of the idea of me and Robin ever ending up together a long time ago. Doesn't mean I'm still not in love with her. Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be heartbroken and have a hard dealing with this." Ted explained.

"Ted, if you still think you're in love with Robin how is that letting go? How is deciding to leave letting go? The only thing you'll be letting go of is still trying to be friends!" Lily said sharply while still looking sad.

"Well maybe I can't or don't want to! Because if I do, then I'm going to lose all the hope I have left, lose the hope that she's the one… That there ever was going to be a 'the one' for me Lily. If I let myself let go of Robin, then I'm admitting that." Ted replied sadly, looking down at his feet. "And now… I think I just did." Ted started to turn and walk away again, but then Lily spoke.

"Ted I'm sorry if you actually lost hope. I'm sorry you feel this way. That you've probably have had to for so long now alone because none of us have noticed. And I know your sick and tired of hearing, 'she's coming' but she is. Even if you don't believe anymore… she will come and she will make you believe again, and maybe you'll make her believe again too… I mean she's been waiting all this time right along with you." Lily pausing she laughed a little still hopeful and he smiled a bit too. "But Ted, Robin is your great best friend, and so is Barney. They're getting married, they want you here, and you want to be here too. Because you're happy for them even if your sad because of them I know that you know when you see them together you see that your best friends are happy." Lily said softly.

"Well of course I'm happy for them, I mean I want to be." Ted said earnestly.

"And you are, you think if you stay you might do something stupid and horrible that might ruin the wedding. But Ted if you don't stay, one day you're gonna look back and think about how you did something stupid and horrible _by_ missing the wedding." Lily rationalized.

"As the best man I should be worrying about fixing anything the could go wrong. Not worrying about if I'm going to be the thing that goes wrong." Ted stated.

"Well as the maid of honor I won't let you do anything wrong, I've already tackled you once this weekend you think I'm afraid of doing it again Mosby?" Lily arched her eyebrows knowingly, then softened and smiled, and Ted smiled back knowingly. "You're right let's get back in there."

[_And kids leaving the wedding then I never would have forgiven myself for missing my best friend's wedding, I also would have missed my chance on meeting your mother. So when aunt Lily tells you she's always right listen to her._]


	4. Cornflower Blue - tM,R,L

**-Tracy's POV - Robin, Lily, &amp; Tracy (also Marshall &amp; Marvin) fic-**

**First off I just wanna say that I did not enjoy the HIMYM finale it was very unsatisfying to me and most parts from this point probably won't follow what's canon. And secondly when ever you see ### that will the equivalent to a 'commercial break.'**

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[_Kids you remember me telling you about your mother's old band mate Darren, and all the stuff he put us through. Well his presence at the wedding wasn't all bad in fact he even got your uncle Barney that tie he wanted._]

"Marshall!" I waved as I walked towards him. He was still holding Marvin just like when I caught him hitchhiking.

"Hey! You're here! That must mean you got your band back!" he said excited.

"Yeah. Well Darren sort of gave it back to me… But still have it back!" I exclaim.

"Not for long." I hear a familiar annoying voice behind Marshall.

Marshall turned towards the voice, and I saw him.

_Darren._

He was wearing a white dress shirt &amp; tie, under a gray vest with matching slacks &amp; dress shoes, and had patchy cover-up to hide his black eye.

"Darren." I sighed irritated.

"That's him?" Marshall asked unbelievingly.

"Yep that's him." I replied.

"Huh… Kind of small." Marshall said unimpressed.

"I've changed my mind. Darren's in and you're out." He adds swiftly.

"What!? Darren it's my band!" I yell.

"You know what I think you and I need to have a talk, Darren." Marshall said calmly towering over Darren and even while holding baby Marvin still appeared very intimidating.

"Marshall you really don't have to…" I began with my eyes widening.

"No! Someone needs to teach him some manners!" Marshall said turning back and facing me.

Darren in a panic, began to back away then found his hand placed on a heavy decorative plate. A light bulb went off he quickly raised the plate as high as he could and the smashed it over the back of Marshall's skull!

"Marshall!" I gasped.

"DAAARREN!" I screamed after him as he fleeted the scene of the crime.

Marshall began to shift forward turning into the fall instinctually to protect Marvin, but I raced anyway to grab him from his arms before he hit the ground (_hard._) Marvin began to sob, "It's okay Marvin I got ya." I cooed while started a steady rock-n-bounce.

"Darren." I growled.

**###**

Marvin had calmed down so I crouched over to see if Marshall's head was bleeding.

_Wow nothing._

I brushed off shards of broken plate and then pushed him on his back _all while holding a toddler by the way._

"Marshall?" I said in hushed tone and then lightly smacked his face, "Marshall? Are you okay?" I asked again. He made some groaning noises, taking that as a good sign I stood back up still cradling Marvin.

"Don't worry Marshall, Marvin is alright and I'm going to go get you some help." He then groaned again, "And then I will deal with Darren." After I said that I could have swore I saw him smile faintly.

_I have to find Lily…_

I walked hurriedly in the direction of the bride's dressing room. I then lightly knocked.

"Um… Robin?" I start.

"Bestie!" Robin gasped excitingly.

"Heeeey!" I fake enthusiasm, "Uh do you know where-"

"Aww… Look at you and Marvin all cute together, and he's so content with you!" Lily cuts in.

"Yeah this little guy really knows how to pick 'em." Robin cooed to Marvin.

"But I thought Marshall had him?" Lily questioned.

"Um… Well yeah I just ran into him and… I-" I paused.

_What do I say? I don't want to stress Robin out… But I have to tell Lily somehow without letting Robin know…_

"He… He actually told me to come find you. Yeah he wants to speak with you!" I ramble the first thing that pops into my head.

"Oh." Lily responded.

"Right so I'll take you to him right now!" I said a bit panicked.

"I'll come too!" Robin said brightly.

"What?! No! I mean… You have to get ready Missy." I add swiftly.

"White dress, hair up, vale on. I mean how much more ready can I get?" Robin snickered.

"Uh… It's just that… um well… Marshall… he… is um he's na-(ked) nope that's not it. He just said… uh…" I stammer.

"Is everything okay with Marshall?" Lily inquired.

"What?! Of course! Of course everything is- Why would you even wonder that?! Haha I mean come on, everything in a-okay!" I say uncoolly.

"Bestie. Just spit it out." Robin commanded calmly.

"Darren hit Marshall over the head with a plate and now he's unconscious!" I ejected quickly.

"What?" Lily gasped.

**###**

I lead them to where Marshall still laid.

"Oh Marshall!" Lily bent down cupping his face.

"And you said Darren did this?" Robin asked unbelievingly.

"Yeah Darren was coming at me with his reign of terror as usual, and Marshall stepped in to teach him a lesson then Darren got scared and hit with the plate." I said looking down.

"Well it's a good thing you were holding Marvin then." Lily added.

"Actually Marshall was still holding him. I had to catch him." I stated and Lily gasped.

"Wait so you're saying he not only hit my husband over the head with a plate! He hit my husband while holding our baby!" Lily said angrily.

"Yep that's the sum of it." I nodded.

"Son of a itch-bay!" Lily seethed.

"Which way did he go?" Robin inquired.

"Um… that way." I pointed towards the way of where he exited.

"I got this." Robin declared.

"No way Robin you aren't-" Lily began to argue.

"Lily! But he- It's for the bride!" Robin whined.

"If you'd let me finish I was going to say you aren't going alone I get a piece of this action too!" Lily approved.

"Me too!" I announced, and Marvin laughed as I still held him. We all smiled at him then rallied on wards.

(_Marshall is still lying there, and he groans._)

I don't know what she was doing but after eyeing the ground, stiffing the air, and licking a few other buildings Robin somehow lead us straight to Darren.

"Yo Darren!" I shouted.

He almost started to run but Lily tackled him to the ground.

"Sup itch-bay!" Robin crouched over to look him in the eye.

"Now ladies I don't want any trouble." Darren huffed trying to still sound charming.

"To little too late Darren. You should thought of that before hitting my baby daddy while he was holding _our_ _baby._" Lily declared, Marvin giggled and clapped his hands cutely at this.

[_Now kids I wasn't there but the way your mom tells it she says that her, aunt Lily, and your aunt Robin formed a triangle pushing Darren around taking turns having a go at him. And they left him stranded completely naked with the words: I HIT A MAN HOLDING A BABY WITH A PLATE! written on his chest but I digress._]

"Crap we better get back!" Robin started hulling it back towards the church. Lily lingered staring down at something.

"Coming?" I asked.

"Yeah…" she paused bent over and picked up his tie before throwing the rest into the dumpster, "What color is this to you?"

"Ah I guess like a cornflower blue?" I pondered at her.

"Yeah I think it is too." She smiled.

We arrived back at the church Robin was already heading back to her dressing room.

We find Marshall slowly getting back on his feet.

"Oh baby you're alright!" Lily exclaimed glad, and gave him a light kiss.

"Yeah I'm fine… Wait! But what happened to Darren!" Marshall asked angrily.

Lily and I exchanged knowing looks.

"Don't worry he's been dealt with." I state.

"What do you mean by 'dealt with?'" Marshall gestured with air quotes.

"Just that he was taught a very valuable lesson, don't mess with a lady's man or her child." Lily said proudly.

I handed her back Marvin at this, and she took him gladly.

"How's your head by the way?" I inquired.

"A little sore but Eriksen's have naturally sturdy thick skulls so I'll be fine soon." He replied.

"Oh before I forget… go give this to Barney." Lily said handing Marshall the tie.

"Cornflower blue." He said.

"Cornflower blue." Lily repeated.

[_And that's the story of how your uncle Barney got his __perfect__ tie from Darren._]

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**First non-canon thing Barney got to wear that cornflower blue tie. And that's right Lily has a third tackle :)**


	5. Mini Prologue Thing

**Sorry I haven't been updating recently! This is just to state what did happen in episode 22 'End of the Aisle' with a few changes according to my story so I don't have to repeat everything:**

\- Ted first gives Robin the locket as a surprise gift saying now she has 'something old' for the wedding but then Robin says, "One problem! I can't go through with this wedding!"

\- Barney writing his vows, and Marshall and Lily try to help him out

\- And Barney's all: You guys didn't even keep any of your vows!

\- Ted's like 'you just getting cold feet!' and Robin's all 'nah uh'

\- Robin gets all 'me and Barney just don't make any sense! He lies &amp; stuff!'

\- Ted makes his 'love doesn't have to make sense!' speech

\- And instead of Robin saying the whole dumb 'I should be with you Ted' nonsense she just does the whole 'fine then I'm just gonna lock you in here and get away' thing

\- Barney sees Lily and Marshall have their new vows moment

\- Robin runs into Tracy, and Tracy's like 'where's the fire?' and Robin basically like 'bestie! I'm freaking out!'

\- Tracy comforts and tells her to do the 'close your eyes &amp; take three breathes' thing, right as Robin closes her eyes Barney sees Tracy thinking 'hey it's my conscience again'

\- And Tracy ticks her head over to Robin like 'yeah right dude… and conscience commands you to calm your bride' *mic drop conscience out*

\- Then Barney makes his truth vow then Ted walks in on 'Swarkles' moment

\- Since Barney got his tie there was no freak out and 1 slap still remains *cue evil laughter*

\- I love the ring bear! I do(s) kiss! The End

\- To the reception!


	6. All Because of the Cake - The Gang

**-Just the Gang- ### = 'Commercial Break'**

**Hey so here's the Swarkles wedding reception we didn't get I hope I did a Ted enough toast… Warning there is mention of divorce but just bare with me!**

* * *

After the ceremony, Barney and Robin new happily married couple it was time from the reception. _And reception toasts._

Ted readily stood tapping his glass for everyone's attention, "Hello everyone I'm Ted Mosby, Barney's best man." Ted began.

"Wow it's so amazing to be here today at this wedding! For these two people, I've known both Robin and Barney to describe themselves as lone wolves. When I met Barney he told me he was going to teach me how to live, that we were going to be each other's wingmen… and also to get a suit." Ted paused while everyone laughed. "When I first met Robin she told me that she didn't know if she ever wanted to get married at all. And today, this weekend there were so many ups and downs to get them to the end of the aisle I didn't know if she would either. But every hurdle they went through this weekend they went and came through together. Because they're a team, I think they always were, even when they would say they were lone wolves, even after they had a rough patches. All the mishaps they've endured and adventures that lead them to today…" he paused again. "Are what helped them to become who they needed for each other to continue being a team and keep having new mishaps and new adventures to help each other continue grow…" he stopped to look at Robin.

"Robin you're so intuitive, courageous, _and one of the most stubborn… _ and compassionate woman I've ever met. I'm glad you've found a teammate to continue being awesome with… And Barney you'll always be legen-wait for it… dary." Ted said in his best Barney impersonation, and everyone laughed again.

"Because you're funny, helpful, you go above and beyond expectations for the people you care about, maybe you're not longer my wingman, but you'll always be my best friend. You guys are awesome, I love both of you, and wish nothing but the best." Ted said then leaned in giving them both a hug &amp; kiss. "Go tear it up! For the rest of your lives, monogamy style!" he joked, and the room laughed again while they clapped and held up their glasses. "To Robin and Barney!" he finished.

Then after Ted's toast Barney started tearing up.

"Oh my god are you crying?!" Robin teased.

"What?! No I'm not crying- you're crying!" Barney denied.

"You're such a sap, Ted's not even crying, and those are sooo tears!" Robin countered.

"Just admit it dude, you're crying over my beautifully well written toast." Ted jested, as he nodded and took a bow.

"I am not! And I will never admit it!" he paused, then continued, "In fact on my gravestone you'll read: Here lies Barney Stinson, Loving Husband, Laser Tag Champion of the Universe, Ted's best friend-"

"I'm his best friend." "Wow Ted gets a name drop but your wife doesn't." Marshall and Robin say at the same time, but Barney just continues, "… quote: 'And I was not crying.' End quote because I was not crying!"

[_He did cry. Your aunt Lily even took pictures, and every year she and Marshall send them to him on their wedding anniversary via text, those odd music e-mails uncle Marshall makes, once they even sent them to both of them on a cake! Robin immediately texted them back, 'Still a lame sap. And is this cake from Kimberly's?'_]

"Okay Barney whatever you say." Lily says.

"Crying. You're so lame! I can't believe I married you." Robin says but is looking at him lovingly and then leans in for another kiss. Ted looks at them smiling, remembered what Lily had said earlier, and she was right seeing his best friends together happy did make him happy.

"That reminds me. Pay up!" Lily exclaimed to Marshall. He sighed, "Yeah, you won." Marshall said, handing over the five bucks defeated but also couldn't help but smile.

"Oh it's time to cut the cake!" Ted said to them then laughed and said, "You guys remember how much you both liked-" cue the roadrunner soundtrack because they were already over to the cake. Quickly slicing into it cutely for the photos then in a blink of an eye they were back at the table, even knocking a small child over in the process.

"-it at the taste-testing?" Ted finished, and they were already digging in.

"Oh my god this cake! If I wasn't already married to you I'd marry this cake!" Barney exclaimed moaning.

"I know right! I think we've made a mistake we have to get a divorce…" Robin paused for affect, "Just so we can both marry this cake! I mean I never thought I'd say this… but I want to make this into a threesome!" she said. Then they both took another bite and let out another moan of delight together and joined hands.

[_Kids as you know your uncle Barney and aunt Robin still talks about that cake to this very day._]

"Yeah it is good! What bakery is it from?" Lily asks, as they've now been served.

"Yeah I need to know who thank!" Marshall said with a mouthful of cake.

"Javier the baker. From surprisingly Kimberly's Bakery." Ted said knowing the answer since he helped pick the bakery.

[_It was named after Javier's daughter, which Robin and Barney ended up helping put through college by recommending his bakery so often._]

**###**

After everyone was satisfied with the cake, "Well I guess it's time for the bride and groom's first dance!" Barney announces excitedly.

"Yeah you guys better go get into your seats." Robin says pointing over to a long rectangular table positioned in front of a three-stacked stage.

"Huh? I don't remember that stage being there a second ago…" Marshall remarked.

"Yeah guys that was never on the seating chart… Guys?" Ted stated as he, Lily and Marshall turned back to see Robin and Barney had disappeared again.

They relocated to the rectangular table in front and sat accordingly to the nametags Marshall, Ted, and then Lily.

The lights dimmed and then there was a spotlight on the stage, on either sides of the stage were showgirls dressed in tuxedo leotards and fishnets. Then Barney and Robin entered atop the stage, Robin's bottom half of her wedding dress was gone, her vale was missing, and her hair down, both of them wearing sunglasses.

A sound comes through the speakers Robin and Barney start by slowly lowering their sunglasses off, then toss them aside while trading positions. Then the beat hits and their hands are together but they're arms length apart, and start stepping back and forth to the beat of the Michael Jackson's song "Smooth Criminal." Robin turns and Barney dips as she kicks her left leg into the air and then she crouches and he begins to spin her.

The showgirls are all doing similar movements off to the side but everyone is focused on Robin and Barney.

They're back up and dashing across the stage, she then jumps, and splits into the air. They do more spins, jumps, other quick dips, and movements to the beat. Then they separate, and Barney leaps off the stage into a ballerina-like spin, and then soon there after he lifts Robin off and next to him as well. Several more quick motions spinning around each other, and then canons of confetti go off as they jump off the next step! Then they're on the floor pounding the confetti back into the air, jumping, and splashing it around like it was water! Standing back up, jumping around, then back down, one cartwheel in the air, and then the last beat hit and Robin was in a one armed dip!

Before anyone can so much as bring their hands together to clap the lights go out and back on again! And then the showgirls are gone... and there are suddenly two fully set tables on both ends of the stage.

Barney enters and goes to one then pulls the tablecloth so quickly that nothing on the table is startled. Everyone claps at this as he holds the tablecloth up and begins spinning around with it, the music begins as he hoists it up and starts waving it around. Robin enters does the with the other table and then wraps that cloth around her waist somehow, making it into a tail of a skirt. Then comes behind him and he spins into a crouching position she kicks her right leg up and around. The music beats then goes slow, Barney dips Robin like he did before the last part of the previous dance, and then gently places her on the floor. She rolls over, out immediately, and stands, he holds onto her and they both pull back balancing with each other's weight. Then the beat hits again and the music quickens as do their movements as then begin pacing, and spinning around. Then the still pounding their fists into their palms to the beat, and then Robin summersaults up and over Barney's head. Next they're waltzing around, leaping, lifting, and more kicks, as the music gets more intense. Then Barney leaping into a quick split in the air and off the stage, with Robin quickly following, then the music speeds up again they dash around then back on the stage. Several quick formations, then Barney spins Robin around dropping her into a final dramatic dip!

Everyone breaks into applause again and Barney and Robin smile towards 'the audience' while they breathe heavily.

"Wow! That was so… You two were just so…Wow!" Lily said in to the microphone that happened to be in from of all three of them.

"Yeah… I mean you two… There was… Just like your movements…" Ted scrambled.

"I think what Ted is trying to say is that you were so in sync. It was impressive." Marshall said smoothly.

"Thank you that means a lot coming from you Marshall!" Barney laughed nervously into a mic that just appeared into his hand.

"From all of you really! Thank you, thank you so much!" Robin leaned into the mic to say.

**###**

Following the bride &amp; groom's first dance the stages, judge's table mysteriously disappeared, the band appeared in their place, and then everyone began to flood the dance floor. Barney started swinging Lily across and Marshall danced with Robin. Ted watched and smiled from afar then made his way through the crowd and tapped Marshall's shoulder and said, "May I?" Marshall willingly stepped aside and left the exes alone to dance.

"Hard to follow that first dance and that table trick!? What an awesome shock!" Ted started, breaking the silence.

"You're really surprised that at Barney Stinson's wedding there was magic?" Robin replied giggling, and looked over his shoulder. Ted looked too, and now unsurprised to see Barney, Lily and Marshall dancing all over the place wildly. Robin's stare lingered as Ted looked back at her, and smiled in his loving Ted Mosby look.

"Whatcha thinking about Teddy?" Robin inquired.

"I was just remembering back when we had just met, that night we first kissed and I felt like a jackass-" Robin interrupted, "Ted…"

"-And you had played 'Haaave you met Ted?' with that girl and I came back telling you it didn't work out…" Ted continued away.

"Oh yeah… and then Barney got all defensive like, 'Whoa, whoa, whoa _Roxanne_ you played 'Haaave you met Ted?' in my bar with my Ted?!' and then made a joke about Canada." Robin recalled.

"Yeah! And then afterwards Lily declared you were part of a gang now and then you went a got the next round… Well when you left she also told us that neither of us could bang you because she wanted you to stay apart of our lives…" Ted paused to glance back at Robin to see her compassionate smile about Lily's loyal-ness.

"And we only could if we married you, and then Barney wiped his hands of the notion and said, 'Too rich for my blood.' But the son-of-a-bitch really did it!" Ted finished.

"Yeah he did…" Robin looked down and smiled to herself.

* * *

**Did I scare ya? Yep look at the title 'the divorce' was 'All Because of the Cake' lol Anyways I highly recommend you go watch these two videos from youtube that I based the dances on:**

** **** youtubecom/****watch?feature=player_detailpage&amp;v=aMV7NsWo67s#t=70**

**** youtubecom/watch?v=ws2rVo00ZuQ&amp;feature=player_detailpage#t=73****

**I described them as best as I could trying not to make it too long…**


	7. Once Your in Your in for Life - Everyone

**-The Gang- ### = Commercial Break**

* * *

Ted and Robin finished their dance and met back at the group's table where Lily and Marshall.

Barney on the other hand was bouncing around the table, "Hey Marshall remember that time Ted said that I'm his best friend! Do ya? Well do ya? Cus' you should since it was today!" Barney mocked.

"Oh yeah… I remember because that must have been why you cried." Marshall sarcastically 'remembered.'

"I didn't cry!" Barney announced, "This is my day Marshall!"

"Do you mean yours _and Ted's_ day?" Marshall joked.

"Shut up!" Barney whined.

"Yeah… Dearly bruloved we all swaggered here today to watched these two bros joined in holy matrihomie." Lily added, and Marshall, Ted and Robin laughed. Barney however remained silently staring then suddenly turned away.

"Oh my god! Barney?! Are you crying again?!" Ted accused, and then Robin laughed louder.

"It was just such a moving statement…" Barney said quietly.

"Riiight. Well… I hate to end this _weird_ moment, but I have to get going…" Ted stated.

"What now?!" Barney suddenly alert, "We have to go do this outside."

(Then the scene where the gang hugs and says goodbyes, Barney and Ted have their high-infinity.)

All the goodbyes were said and done Ted quickly with one last moment of hesitation to wonder when he might see all his friends again, and went off to the train station.

**###**

* * *

**-Tracy's POV-**

**What happened after Ted went to the train station.**

* * *

The band flowed through many songs so the night went by fast, and it seems the bride and groom had already had several of their own pre-honeymoon, honeymoons in various spots all over. I was currently finishing a quick break to pee, and stretch my legs, trying to make my way back to the stage as the happy couple had now made it back to the dance floor with a large amount of champagne in their systems.

"Oh my god! It's you!" Barney slurred, "Robin, Robin! This is… my consc-" he hiccupped.

"Bestie!" Robin squealed, ignoring him and pulling me into a hug.

"Whoa! You can see her too!? Is that like a married thing?" Barney wondered moved around me to hug me from behind, "No! You're really here!"

"Yeah I'm with the band." I replied still sandwiched between them.

"Oh I love this song… We should all dance together, like a three-way!" Barney said, now resting his head against mine.

"Yeah this feels so right." Robin agreed resting her head on my shoulder.

"Guys there isn't any music playing… Cause like I said I'm with the band so… No me, no music, no three-way or any_way_ dancing…" I stated.

"Okay I think it's about time to wrap this night up and send Robin and Barney on their honeymoon…" Lily said to her husband who was gently still rocking their sleeping son.

"Why? How have they disturbed the peace now?" Marshall asked, and Lily pointed towards the drunken newlyweds just behind him.

"Alright guys, time to head out towards your honeymoon." Marshall said as he and Lily approached their friends.

"What the night is just getting started!" Barney countered.

"You guys are totally gone." Lily replied.

"Lily we are right here." Barney replied incredulously.

"She means you're both seriously drunk!" Marshall clarified, "Now step away from the bass player, and let's get you guys officially on your honeymoon already!" he ordered, hoisted Barney up.

**###**

They packed their bags into Ranjit's car, and Marshall carrying a sleeping Barney as we lead them into the backseat when Robin suddenly halted.

"Bestie! I almost forgot we need to stay in touch after this weekend!" Robin said, I smiled, "Don't worry-"

"Cause I think we all agree you're totally in our gang now!" Robin swayed in to me.

"And once you're in, you're in for LIFE!" Barney added loudly, then nestled his head back into Marshall's shoulder.

"Sooo… earlier tonight I picked your pockets and stole your phone… to get your phone number and put in mine!" Robin stated.

"Okay this dress has no pockets. So that was someone else's phone you stole and gave your phone number to." I paused, staring at her for a response. Since she had none I just continued, "And no worries Lily and I already exchanged information to stay in touch!" I reassured her and she smiled. Seemingly pleased with this response got into the backseat, with Barney now at her side sleeping on her shoulder.

"Okay you two kids have fun now!" Marshall said.

"Make good choices." I announced.

"Yes. Nothing illegal please." Lily added.

Barney eyes still closed, smirked. And Robin winked as they drove off.

"Well we may never see them again." Marshall casually stated.

"What?!" I turned to face him.

"If they do get into trouble and get arrested or something… We still don't know where they're going on their honeymoon." Lily explained.

"Couldn't you have just asked Ranjit?" I replied.

"He's only driving them to the airport." Marshall remarked.

"Well it was nice knowing them then." I shrugged slightly laughing to myself, "Well I've got to gather my stuff and check out if I'm going to make the last train."

"We're going to stay the rest of tonight so Marvin can sleep and so Marshall can get a better chance at seeing the ghost…" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Right… It was great meeting you! Thanks for everything!" I said giving them both hugs. And collected my things and got a cab.

"Farhampton train station please."

* * *

**So we are heading off to the train station! Sorry it's taking me so long to write this…**


	8. Two Dorks Walk into a Trainstation - TxT

**-Tracy POV- Ted x Tracy!  
**

**So this is kind of a longer, slower read I tried to make up some more background for Tracy because you know she did have a life and friends before Ted… So OC Warning! But they finally meet! So I hope it's okay…**

* * *

The cab pulled up to the Farhampton train station, and the cab driver reminded, "Don't forget your guitar." Feeling no need to correct him for just being helpful, I did as I was told. I walked over to a pillar to wait, and the train appeared almost instantly. I closed my umbrella and walked towards the opening train door, paying more attention to my umbrella than where or should I say whom I walking into.

"I'm so sorry!" "Sorry!" we both said together. I looked up into his deep brown eyes, noticing his dark disarrayed hair dripping from the rain onto his cheeks, his nose, and then running down to his mouth. I felt my entire body internally jolt, with goose bumps now rising on my arms.

"You go in first…" we stammered again together.

"No you can go." We both started miming each other. I smiled, and I noticed he was too, another internal jolt. Both still staring at each other with silly grins I said, "Well I guess we'll both just have to in at the same time then."

"How? That's how we got to this point in the first place." He questioned.

"Simple. We just have to get closer." I said stepping forward leaving just a few centimeters between us.

"Of course." He said slowly, I realized how relived I was for his agreement to my intimate forwardness.

"Here we go then." I proclaimed, and then we stepped into the train together. Still close standing in front of one another he was the first to speak, "I guess we should get to our seats."

"Right." My body hesitantly turning around, this train compartment was practically empty. I walked to the middle and took a seat on the right side next to the window. He took a seat in the middle section in the same row as me. The conductor announced our departure, and except for the noise of the train itself it became silent. Every few seconds I took a peek over at him trying to think of something to say, his face seemed to express some sort of internal battle he was having with himself. _I wondered what he's thinking of?_ I thought now looking down to my lap. _What can I say now that will top, 'We just have to get closer?' should have just had my way with him up there!_ I thought shaking my head laughing as myself. Then I looked back to him, and caught him looking over at me! He jerked his cute face down into the book he had open. _Ooh what book is, my handsome fellow train-rider reading?_ _Love in the Time of Cholera__!_

"I love that book." I blurt out.

"Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez?" he looked up at me again to ask.

"It's my favorite book actually." I remark, and notice him lean forward towards me, and said, "My name is Ted."

In which started a lengthy dicussion, which lead to other books we had read.

"Have you read World's End by T.C. Boyle?" I asked.

"Oh my gosh, yes! How are we reading almost all the same books?" Ted wondered aloud.

"Well I don't know about you but my best friend and I started this little book club thing to video chat about when she moved. Only one of would read the book and the try to explain the whole thing to the other." I laughed, thinking of Kelly's rambling descriptions always having to back track when she for get something, and me actually taking the time to write her like full length essays and going over them with her.

"And how did that go?" he asked as if reading my thoughts.

"Differently." I said.

Which lead to me describing each memorable video chat I had with Kelly over our books, and what she was like. How she can be kind of awkward sort of puts her foot in her mouth especially when she's nervous, but her heart's always in the right place. And all the crazy jobs she did over the years until she realized her dream job. Engineering. Which lead to how she moved to anyway to help invent/bulid some top secret government device. Which then lead to me talking about how Kelly and I met in the first place.

"Well I'm from Maryland, a really small city called Odenton… And I had just moved to New York kind of young and naïve had all my belongings in a big moving van, and didn't really think far enough ahead to get settled into an apartment before actually moving to New York… And these two guys clearly saw the red target painted across my forehead and decided to 'help me move in.'" I explained.

"Oh no…" he added.

"But luckily to my rescue came Kelly, told them to get lost, I thanked her repeatedly, and then she asked me to move in with her." I finished.

"So you're from Odenton, Maryland, your previous roommate Kelly is your best friend, your favorite book isLove in the Time of Cholera… What else have I learned about you?" Ted listed.

"I think the real question here is: What have I learned about you? Except that you have excellent taste in reading material and that you're a good listener." I remarked.

"And that my favorite book is also Love in the Time of Cholera…" he smiled.

"Okay and that your favorite book is also Love in the Time of Cholera there's where we started…" I replied.

"I thought we started before we even got on the train?" Ted asked.

"Talking about our interests? No we bumped into each other, then started miming each other… Unless that was your indirect way of telling me you are a mime or you mime as a hobby?" I suggested.

"Do you think I'm a mimer?" he asked.

"Well since you just said mimer, instead of mime it seems less likely…" I said.

"Right, man can't believe I made that rookie mistake." He replied, "How do I know you weren't trying to indirectly tell me you mime?"

"Let's just agree that what happened earlier was just one of those classic miming coincidences." I joked.

"Classic miming coincidences." He repeated, and nodded.

"Although I was a mime." I stated.

"You were?!" he questioned.

"For a day. Lost a bet." I grimaced, "I had this bet I had with another one of my best friends, Jay. This stupid bet that we could find out what Carla's real last name was. Carla being another best friend, who was Kelly's previous roommate before me, where they met at a fashion magazine they both worked at in like the 90s.' And then Carla started her own magazine where none of us had ever been to or heard of at all. She said it was her family's last name. She had always gone by the last name Red, but then we found that was a fake name. Her family is very wealthy and their name isn't related with fashion… so she used a fake name to separate from them and to build her own credibility."

"So what's her last name then?" Ted asked.

"I still don't know and I even worked at the magazine! He wouldn't tell for her privacy." I answered.

"But then how do you know he won?" he laughed.

"Well technically he didn't we both lost." I smiled.

"So why did you both choose to the loser to mime?" he asked.

Which lead the rest of the train ride of me telling him about how Kelly swore she saw a Jay mime doppelganger! Where we absentmindedly started walking together back from the New York train station and thru the city. And he told me that he and his friends had seen doppelgangers of themselves too!

"Well yours is defiantly the best." I stated.

"Really not the stripper?" he laughed.

"Nope Mexican wrestler Mosby all the way!" I declare.

"I wonder if I have a doppelganger out there? Maybe she's like a spy or something?!" I wondered aloud.

"I could defiantly see you in a black cat suit…" Ted looked me over, and I raised my eyebrows catching his glance, "Not that I'm imaging that or anything…" he nervously added.

"Well that would be my doppelganger you're thinking of. The only 'can barely breathe in' thing I ever wear is my chain-mail corset… Which isn't like a kinky sex thing! I mean guess it could be if I did wear it… but the point is I don't and it's not!" I exclaim.

"Wasn't thinking that at all." He replied.

"So I just put in your head just now then… Great." I reply, "Well it is for a Renaissance costume, that I have wore to Renaissance fairs. Which before you say anything the Renaissance era was super cool like the tourneys you know without all the manslaughter… and oh! The feasts, you know if they knew how to cook everything properly and didn't eat so richly all the time that caused them to die so young, but also the fashion which I wouldn't necessarily want to wear all the time obviously because the whale boned corsets caused actual fainting, deformed bones, and probably resulted in a lot of those miscarriages but even with all the bad things it's still cool!" I defend.

"You had me at Renaissance costume." Ted replied, and I smiled.

* * *

**Lol… So basically this like my little adding to Tracy I have a bunch of headcanons of her but who knows if I'll ever compile them all together… anyways one more chapter I think…**


	9. Finished Soul Food - TxT

**-Tracy's POV-**

**Alright so I think this will be last one… Thank you for the reviews, follows, &amp; favorites!**

**I love the feedback and hope you like this ending better!**

* * *

We continued to converse more as we walked towards my apartment. We talked about the Renaissance, which lead to calligraphy, and then to coin collecting! And then we were all the way to my apartment door.

"I still can't believe you have 16 1969-S Lincoln Cent With a Doubled Die Obverse pennies!" Ted said in awe.

"I can't believe you know 1969-S Lincoln Cent With a Doubled Die Obverse is!" I reply, "Well this is my apartment." I point, still looking at Ted and him at me.

_I can't believe we've talked all the way to my apartment, and we have so much in common, we could be soul-mates. _**(Quick little author's note: I wanted Tracy to fall for Ted as quickly as he did for Robin as a, 'Yeah it can happened that quick even for you Ted!' type thing…)**

"Did you just say 'we could be soul-mates?'" Ted asked with a surprised smile.

"Did I say soul-mates?!" _Out loud!_ I repeated.

"I meant to say…" I paused and thought, "Soul food."

His smile got brighter, and I just closed my eyes, closed my mouth into a line, and turned my head away.

"We could be soul food together… as in popular Southern comfort food?" Ted jested.

"You know in my head, because believe it or not I actually put some thought into that statement…" I recessed.

"I recall you taking a pause, yes go on." He remarked.

"Right. So in my brain the first more realistic words that came besides 'soul food' was 'roommate.' And I thought: _Yeah cause that's sooo much better. No we're not soul-mates but I think we should move in together._" I said staring off in the distance, and then back at him.

"So now that I've said all that out loud… I'd just like to thank you for your time. You were great by the way and if you'd like to leave any comments on anything you liked or would maybe change? You know except for the whole soul-mate/soul food thing…" I continued.

"I liked everything, including the soul-mate part, and especially the soul food thing." Ted joked, and I laughed.

"Well spoiler alert 'we could be soul food' one of my better lines." I joke.

"It's a good one I think you should get that put on a t-shirt or like embroider it on a pillow." He continued.

"Yeah and above it will say top 10 weirdest &amp; inappropriate things I've said to a guy I've just met." I add.

"Here why don't I balance it out by saying something just as inappropriate too soon… Like: think how great of a story this will be to tell our kids someday! I'll get to say 'and kids when she said soul food in that moment I knew she was the one!'" Ted said animated.

"And when he went along with it, in that moment I knew… he was as big of a dork as me!" I said with a laugh.

"And that kids is _how I met your mother_." Ted finished.

* * *

**Cue 'Heaven' by ****The Walkmen ****and Jason Segal as Marshall credits and cue the tears… Seriously the finale aside I still can't believe it's over!**


End file.
